why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
