In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
