I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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