I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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