found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
