Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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