i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
a search helicopter?!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
