not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
