It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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