she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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