how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
