she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
