Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
