he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
