I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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