Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
