you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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