ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
