I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
