Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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