i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Buhtt sex?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
