before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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