I think I died a long time ago.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
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you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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