yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize