it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize