i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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