you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
