i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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