I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
