He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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