i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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