if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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