"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
