I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
