So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
