anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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