first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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