just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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