I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
