I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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