All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
kristin has been a bad kristin
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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