Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
