if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
