On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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