We're facebook friends in real life
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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