it hurts more in the daytime
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
