Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize