Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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