Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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