in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
