If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
