Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
