i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
