Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
