dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
