Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
