So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
