WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
