about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
