Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
