He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
