Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
