So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
