just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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