You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
